Oh, how the tables have turned…

One year ago, I transferred from Ivanti’s Utah headquarters to our office in Bracknell, right outside of London. Moving to a new country is pretty overwhelming in that you’re constantly surrounded by new sights, new smells, new sounds (you haven’t heard English until you've heard a Geordie accent), and most importantly, new tastes.

I dove into the world of British food with the basics: British biscuits. This is how I fell in love with Hobnobs and Orange Clubs. Next, I tried British crisps (chips, in the US), where I discovered my colleagues had a rather sadistic side when they subjected me to Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Lemon and Scampi Nik Naks.

It's obvious by my previous blog posts about British snacks that I can whip out insults and judgments all day long, but can I take a taste of my own medicine? I figured it was time to jump off my high horse and see. So I brought in some American snacks to see what my British colleagues thought. I included some classics, plus a couple of crazy flavored items to get revenge for the Mr. Porky Crackles (#NeverForget).

First, meet our esteemed panel of judges. On our panel today, we have members of the Ivanti marketing team (pictured below from left to right): Sara Coppock, Vijay Mistry, Lee Crombie, Roisin Tims, and Jeni McSkimming.

We also have a few quotes from Daniel Polisano and Sarah Lewis.

Fuego Takis (Spicy Lime)

  • “They’re not for me. I didn’t even taste the lime, just the fire.” – Roisin
  • “There’s nothing real about them. They taste like the equivalent of what I imagine Hell tastes like. These are disgusting.” – Lee
  • “Look at the color, they just look wrong.” – Vijay
  • “These are heavy! And they look like you can smoke it. But I don’t like that taste.” – Sara

Honey Barbeque Fritos

  • “No, absolutely not. That leaves a horrible taste in your mouth. It’s like BBQ flavor coated wood.” – Lee
  • “Wow, these babies are delicious! A bit like the consistency of a Wheat Crunchie but the flavor of heaven. Thank goodness they don’t sell these in the U.K. as I could quite easily become addicted!” – Sarah
  • “These are a kid’s crisp. The silly shape and sweetness keep small minds entertained.” – Dan

Plain Lays

  • “Better than Walkers Ready Salted Crisps.” – Lee

Bugles

  • “I like these, they have the perfect saltiness, and I like that they are little finger hats.” – Jeni
  • “Bugles are lovely. But I’m disappointed they didn’t make a tune when you open the bag.” – Lee
  • “Dull. A dull crisp.” – Dan

Gardetto’s

  • “These have a very nice taste but I don’t like the mix of textures.” – Jeni
  • “Most enjoyable, you can’t go wrong. I like the rye chips in the combination, it’s a good variety.” – Lee
  • “They’re like a pick and mix surprise! A really bad surprise.” – Sara

Dill Pickle Lays

*Note – Dill pickles aren’t really a thing here in the UK, so this was a double whammy of flavor experimentation. Also fun fact, in the UK, they call pickles “gherkins.”

  • “I really like these, I could eat a whole bag.” – Sara, said with wide eyes the moment she took a bite.
  • “My initial impression of this flavor was horror! My first taste was a shocker but weirdly I felt the need to have another one. I’d say these are a similar flavor to Pickled Onion Monster Munch but on steroids. Truly a party in my mouth!” – Sarah
  • “What a horrendous flavor. I wouldn’t eat a jar of pickles nor would I finish a bag of these. Absolutely not. Those are worse than the Takis.” – Dan

Cheez-it  

  • “That’s like squirty canned cheese in cracker form. I like them.” – Sara
  • “Absolutely horrible. I couldn’t even swallow that, disgusting. Just horrid. If Takis are Hell, this is the next level of hell.” – Lee
  • “Tastes like someone’s mangy feet.” – Vijay

Barbeque Lays

  • “Lovely. Just a very nice crisp.” – Lee
  • “These are good, but they smell like the HMS Victory Ship.” – Jeni
  • “Awesome.” – Vijay
  • “The king of American chips. Also known as overrated. Barbeque sauce should be much more exciting than this, I don’t like it.” – Dan

Cheetos

  • “These are just the best.” – Sara

Swedish Fish

  • “Ugh. Yuck. Weird texture. It’s like eating a cotton bud.” – Jeni
  • “There’s just nothing to them.” – Lee
  • “Candlewax delights.” – Dan

Pink Starburst

  • “Love these.” – Lee
  • “Like a strawberry milkshake in a chew.” – Jeni
  • “That’s a keeper.” – Sara
  • “This I like. A burst of strawberry delight in your mouth.” – Roisin

Jolly Ranchers

  • “I like those. A perfect snack for teenage boys. And so much fun when your tongue goes blue.” – Roisin
  • “The watermelon ones are amazing. My absolute favorite.” – Jeni
  • “These should be illegal with this much food dye.” – Dan

Runts

  • “Surprisingly hard, I thought they would be chewy. They have a really strong flavor at first and then they just turn into powder. But the banana is nice.” – Jeni
  • “These are just bombs of sugar.” – Lee
  • “I’m liking it, but I wasn’t prepared for the texture.” – Vijay

Hot Tamales

  • “Tastes like medicine. I like it.” – Lee
  • “Kind of like spicy jelly beans.” – Sara
  •  “Disgusting. They burned my tongue.” – Jeni
  • “These are a winner. They taste like medicine, but I’m down with that.” – Dan

Sour Patch Kids

  • “Yes. An absolute delight on the tongue. A dancing of flavors on the taste buds. Green is the best.” – Lee
  • “These don’t taste of anything except sugar. The green is disgusting.” – Jeni

Nerds

  • “They are too small, awkward to eat. It’s just sugar, isn’t it really?” – Lee
  • “The classic Nerd. Good, if you’re eight years old. And the colors! Can we turn the lights of and see if they glow in the dark?” – Dan

Even though the opinions were varied, my main takeaway is that when a British person is disgusted by something, somehow, they still sound so classy. I need to work on switching out my “ewww gross” with “absolutely horrid.”